Friday, September 9, 2011

Stuck in a Moment.

Hey there loves, happy Friday! It's been a long week and I'm looking forward to today at 5:00. Last night I enjoyed some of Fashion's Night Out, stopping by a few events, browsing the new fall collections and splurging on a few items. It was a busy night in New York City, I love to see the hustle and bustle, I love feeling the New York energy, there isn't anything quite like it.
I love my city, New York has played such an integral part in my life, it's safe to say it has made me who I am.  I was born and raised in New York City and now that I'm a traveler, I'm proud to carry New York with me wherever I go. I always compare every place I visit to New York, and while they might be pretty cool, or extremely beautiful they will never come close to my New York. I believe most New Yorkers would agree with me. 

Last year when I moved to Greece, it was the first time I was separated from my city for a long period of time, and I felt its effects, I missed my New York and all it has to offer and all that is has given me. I missed it so much, I wrote an ode to New York, which was one of my first posts on this blog. I poured my heart out to New York, always looking to gain its love and respect. 

New York has always held that number one spot in my heart and after September 11th, I became defensive and protective of it. After that day, I was changed like the millions of others who live here. Someone came into our city, our home and hurt it, that simply was not OK.  Even though we are a city made up of millions, we banded together like a close knit family and vowed that we would get through this together, we wouldn't forget, we would rebuild, we would rise again. This hasn't been an easy task, after that day we were changed. 

New Yorkers are a hard shelled, calloused group who were wounded, a piece of us all died on September 11th and was replaced by an uneasy feeling, a feeling of fear, how could this happen to us. We were New York, the greatest city in the world and we were brought to our knees. 

We've tried to move on but like a bad breakup most of us are still looking for that closure, even ten years later, someone assuring us that everything will be OK, to breathe, to move forward, to stop worrying. 

I know it has changed me, I am now a constant worrier, I've become more emotional, I was no longer the tough New Yorker I once was, I was broken and this hasn't been easy to admit.  Ask any New Yorker where they were on September 11th and they'll explain their day, down to the last detail. We are stuck in a moment, stuck in that nightmare, and as much as we "move on", it will never leave us. That feeling of fear is something one doesn't easily get over. We see a low flying plane, we look up and fear the worst. We've become ignorantly suspicious of people. When we experience a cool, cloudless fall day, it takes our breath away, it brings us back. 

I don't know if we'll ever fully move on from that day. I think it stays with us as a reminder, to piss us off, to motivate us to be the best we can be, to remind us not to take anyone or anything for granted. How could we possibly forget. Because of that day, it's made me fall even more in love with my city. I recently told someone that I am proud to be an American but I am even more proud to call myself a New Yorker. I love you New York and as I watch your skyline change, I yearn for the day, where New Yorkers can wake up, breathe easy, smile and know that everything will be OK.

Today's quote is from a song that was popular in the months leading up to September 11th, 2001 and after that horrible day the song's words meant even more, every New Yorker could relate and we still do. U2's song, Stuck in a Moment, still gives me chills to this day even a decade later. I hear the words and I'm taken back to that day and the fearful weeks following. Then I realize that I am still there, stuck in that moment, that day, it never leaves you.

Never Forget.

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass

It's just a moment
This time will pass...

-U2, Stuck in a Moment

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